I'm getting too old for this shit...

I thought that now would be a good time to start stepping down my anti depressants. I've been super tired lately, have no energy and generally feeling like I could handle the three kids so the side effects weren't worth the benefits ya know? I've been experimenting by going a day or so without them, and I guess it has started to affect me.

I am the worse bitch right now. I'm so irritable, I'm yelling a tevery little thing, and it seems like everything my kids do is wrong. Perhaps because I've been monkey with the pills, my levels of chemicals are messed up and I'm not feeling right. Uggh. I dont' want to be on this medicine for the rest of my life. I dont' want to be dependant on this to function properly. But I also dont' want to scream at my kids for every little thing. My son has been completely a jerkoff lately. That's right, he's three and I called him a jerkoff. He hasn't been listening to ANYTHING I say, he steals food like I don't feed him and he breaks things, namely my damn dvd player. grrrr.

So, I guess on on the wagon again. Hello cymbalta, I've missed you so.

Sons of B*&^%$#

I'm a pretty patient person, I mean Christ sakes, I have two and a half children. And by the time this is read, it might end up being three. But by Christ, I can't stand it when people try to martyr themselves.

I have a specific person in mind, and those of you who read this have a damn good idea of whom I speak. Today, that person, rather than come upstairs out of the 90 degree weather, decided to remain prone on our fabric couch and sweat and practically expire. We were upstairs in AC just chilling so we were ok. When we came downstairs to get the day going (after the kids' naps) There this person was. Weak and barely able to ask me for "a cool cloth." God, I almost punched her in her smug, fucking face! It's like 1) I control the weather and it's my fault for not makingg it cool enough, 2) It's m fault for not having air conditioning downstairs like a normal human being, 3) I'm now forced to wait on her to get her "back to normal" MOTHER FUCKER!

She could have easily gotten off the couch when she got back from her shopping spree to come upstairs and sit in one of the two air conditioned rooms in the house. She could have easily sat outside where the breeze is nice and the porch is comfortable. But no, Madame Martyr decided to expire on the couch. I then suggested to her that she go upstairs and sit in the AC for a while to cool off. She replied, wearily "I just can't". HOLY MOTHER FUCKING TITTIE CHRIST!

This is an incided that caps off a lot of things with this person, as my loyal Reader(s) know. THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! If it isn't one thing, it's another. How she eats, which is like shit and that causes her to have sugar ups and down, making her weak. Does she change eating habits, no. JUST LOOKING FOR MOTHER FUCKING SYMPATHY.

It almost makes me want to just cut her out of my life forever so I don't have to deal with this shit.

MOTHER FUCKER! Sorry, it was necessary to use the language, but god dang it.

Mental Health Day

Today I'm taking a mental health day. My kids are out of control with their behavior, it's hot, I'm over 9 mos pregnant and I need this day. Frankly, I'm about ready to toss them in the river, figuratively speaking of course, I'd never actually HARM them.

I always wondered how those women could drown their children or leave them in a car in a river. It seem so heartless and terrible. But, truth be told, I can see how it might get to that point.

Now, you blog Nazis, I'm not going to kill my kids or harm them in anyway. If you are worried, then call to check on us. They are ensconced in their rooms (hopefully napping) as I type this. Sure, it is well ahead of their scheduled naptimes, they got up late and they didn't realy get to do TOO much today, but this is what I need to do. I want to avoid emotionally hurting them or saying or doing something I regret. So mental health day for me. All you working people can walk away from a situation when it makes you crazy. Take a break for coffee, walk around the office etc. Not us SAHM's. If we walk away from our job, we get arrested. We dont' get coffee breaks or lunch breaks, that is unless the kids are napping, but then we have other shit we have to do, like make dinner, clean up the kitchen, do laundry, vacuum or God forbid, work at home for money. So if every once in a while, we have to lock our kids in their rooms to ensure their safety and happiness, I'm all for it. Kids have cycles where they get out of control with behavior and stuff, and sometimes we need to work around that. When you are 24/7 with two little ones, it gets crazy. Having adult time is something a person like me is used to, so when there is none of that around, I grow antsy and having screaming, misbehaving kids to top it off makes the day a hell of a lot worse.

So, I'm watching Dirty Dancing, eating pretzels, and probably M&M's, drinking a soda, sitting in AC and possibly working on one of my articles, but not the other one...That can wait till I"m in a better frame of mind. Right now, I'm on a mental health break.

We spend Mother's Day dinner enjoy a not-so-quiet Indian buffet with the kids. It was quite lavish and yummy, though my kids were more interested in the fresh fruit than the chicken curry and goat dishes. (I didn't eat the goat, yuck, but Derik did, and I suffered for it. All night long!) It was a lovely spread and the staff was kind and courteous as usual. The only slump in the night was the scruffy looking college kids that needed to speak to the manager because they misread the price list for the buffet. They insisted that they couldn't pay the 17.95 for the meal, and though, incorrectly, the meal would only be 7.95. Usually the restaurant's weekend buffet is 7.95, but since it was Mother's Day, it was different, more involved. For about ten minutes, they argued with the waitress. It was quite rude in my opinion. They had the money, they just were being rude and not wanting to pay it because they thought they were entitled to the cheaper price. One of the guys even paid with a credit card, so you know they had the money.

I said to Derik as we were dining that I was just going to pay the bill for them so they'd shut up and stop arguing with the girl who could obviously do NOTHING about the situation. When we walked in to the restaurant, the waitress explained the cost of the meal to us, saying it was a special buffet for a special price. I thought I heard the manager say they were going to call the police, but eventually something was worked out and the students left, without paying a tip mind you. Trash is all I have to say. How they thought a four table spread including shrimp, four different kinds of meat entrees, veggie entrees, naan bread, fruit, salads and dessert would cost only 7.95 is beyond me. How they went out to dinner ONLY having 7.95 EACH is also beyond me. It makes me feel very bad for that generation, which is not far away from my own. I'd never do that, and I'd be embarrased going out to eat knowing I had only that much in my pocket. On top of this, they made a big stink in the dining room, causing other people to miss out on enjoying their meals. Which pisses me off. Though my kids were being loud and yelling and whatnot, they were eating at least. Though Charlotte does NOT enjoy curry chicken!

So to the generation Y or Z or whatever you want to call yourselves, suck it up, learn to read and get a life. You aren't owed something just because you were born!

Pet Peeves 2

It's amazing the amount of ire you can develop in the span of say 24-36 hours. It happens often to me when I get my routine disrupted. Perhaps this is a sign of some sort of behavioral disability or something that was never diagnosed, but screw it. I hate when people mess up my shit.

You aren't helpful just because you took the dishes out of the dishdrain and lined them up on the counter (conceivably cause you didn't know where they reside). In fact, you made double the work for me. Taking my kid to the park is great, but not when it has to be on YOUR schedule. Grrrr.

Call me crazy, I"m sure you already have, but I need routines. And woe be to you if you eff with them. Bitches.

Howard Stern, I respect you...

Wow. Never thought I'd say that one out loud. But this past week or so, I've been understanding how hard it must be for Stern to go about his daily life. I mean, he's out there as far as his commentary. Not exactly PC. I'm sure he pisses off a ton of people. But he keeps on trucking, doing what is true for him to do, and doesn't worry about what the critics think. And people LOVE him. He's got millions of viewers/listeners, billions of dollars, and respect from most of the world.

I have another blog for the magazine I write for. It's a dinky blog for a local paper magazine. It's not Time or Star or anything like that, but it's my home and I love it. I recently posted a blog about how old people are missing a filter because they can just say whatever they want to people and according to them, they deserve the respect not to be spoken back to. Well, that raises my ire because I don't think that's ok to talk about someone or their kids. And I put it politely in my blog. But apparently, a few older citizens felt the need to comment on my post by impugning my character, my parenting and my husband. Needless to say, emotional wreck that I am, I got upset and ruminated for days.

But I guess I just have to be more like Stern and realize that I'm going to piss someone off no matter what. People just feel the need to have their voices heard, good or bad. I know I'm a good parent, I know I work my butt of for these kids, and some anonymous reader isn't going to change that. Grow a tougher skin, I must. Hey, if Stern can do it, so can I right?

We don't need no stinking baby nurse...

Seriously, wtf is a baby nurse? A friend - more of an acquaintance - has been complaining on FB that her "baby nurse" is annoying and demanding. So, I genuinely was interested in what a baby nurse was. No one got back to me. Perhaps it's a yuppie/hipster/I live in Manhattan and married a stockbroker so we can afford to have someone else care for our kid sort of thing to HIRE someone to come to your home from anywhere from 7 to 90 days to "guide" you in parenting. These bitches, I mean nurses, don't' cook, clean or anything like that. They solely care for the baby and work to "educate the new parents on caring for their new infant, assists in establishing a routine eating/sleeping/wake schedule for the baby and provides lactation consulting to breastfeeding mothers." (according to the website http://www.californianannycompany.com/babynurse.htm)

What the fuck? This was a career option????? You get paid to live in someone else's house, I'm assuming eating their food, showering, using their electricity etc, and all you have to do is basically what all of us mothers do anyway??? These shysters make upwards of like 350 bucks PER DAY for this service. Let's see, 350X30 = OVER 10,000 DOLLARS! What the hell! Shit, do that like six times a year....damn! I missed to boat I guess, I'm doing this shit for free at home, when I could be doing it for SIX FIGURES!

*Note, SOME women who do this job are in fact NURSES, getting their starts in maternity wards. Though ALL have medical backgrounds, whatever that means, and they are trained in first aid and CPR. Fuck me, like I said, missing the boat. I got CPR certs, I can do first aid, shit.