We don't need no stinking baby nurse...

Seriously, wtf is a baby nurse? A friend - more of an acquaintance - has been complaining on FB that her "baby nurse" is annoying and demanding. So, I genuinely was interested in what a baby nurse was. No one got back to me. Perhaps it's a yuppie/hipster/I live in Manhattan and married a stockbroker so we can afford to have someone else care for our kid sort of thing to HIRE someone to come to your home from anywhere from 7 to 90 days to "guide" you in parenting. These bitches, I mean nurses, don't' cook, clean or anything like that. They solely care for the baby and work to "educate the new parents on caring for their new infant, assists in establishing a routine eating/sleeping/wake schedule for the baby and provides lactation consulting to breastfeeding mothers." (according to the website http://www.californianannycompany.com/babynurse.htm)

What the fuck? This was a career option????? You get paid to live in someone else's house, I'm assuming eating their food, showering, using their electricity etc, and all you have to do is basically what all of us mothers do anyway??? These shysters make upwards of like 350 bucks PER DAY for this service. Let's see, 350X30 = OVER 10,000 DOLLARS! What the hell! Shit, do that like six times a year....damn! I missed to boat I guess, I'm doing this shit for free at home, when I could be doing it for SIX FIGURES!

*Note, SOME women who do this job are in fact NURSES, getting their starts in maternity wards. Though ALL have medical backgrounds, whatever that means, and they are trained in first aid and CPR. Fuck me, like I said, missing the boat. I got CPR certs, I can do first aid, shit.

I'm being pushed out...

So I've noticed that more and more people are being added onto the group of 4 that started out as my posse. Every once in a while, a new person would be added to emails. Now I think we are up to like 7. They seem to all congregate together at the YMCA or at Zumba classes. Me, I'm stuck at home, sick kids, pregnancy hormones and whatnot. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive cause of the hormones, but I think I'm being like "selected" out of the group. Which is soooo not cool. Making friends is hard enough, so when you think you've made a group of bitches you think you can be friends with and they end up not "liking" you anymore, it is so not cool. I wish we could move home and I could just take up with my old friends. But maybe I'm just a dinosaur who refuses to evolve and change with the times. All my friends seem to have made new friends, so should I right? I guess I just haven't found the right group of biotches. Whores. And all of this on the heels of me driving a group of them down to Albany for an overnight trip we are taking. I'm such a dickwad.

Flibbity jibbet

Apparently I missed the boat when it came to choosing a career. Working for a newspaper seemed fun, fast paced and exciting. Having all the pressure of deadlines and needing to work within the frame of writing something every day. Pishaw! I scoff at you. This magazine writing stuff is awesome. Once a month deadlines, relaxed writing styles, exciting topics. I did an interview for an article last week, and I'm not feeling stressed to sit down and actually write the article. I've got another two weeks or a week and a half before it is due. Goooood stuff. Very exciting. Though I do have to get my butt cracking on another article I am writing. If not, I have to produce something for Jenn so she's not down a story. Wouldn't want to string a bitch out or nothing.

Now Plattsburgh offers an actual magazine writing degree, or something like that, you can specialize in magazine writing like we specialized in print journalism, though our degrees are actually in English. How lucky this new crop of kids are. Writing is sooooo much more enjoyable for me now. I felt stressed under a deadline of a weekly paper, could you imagine if it were a daily that I ended up at? Oh my.

Must say, I lurves what I do. I even saw a copy of "my" magazine in the body shop where Derik works once a week. It was awesome, and I told the owner, hey, that's me! Holla!

Gooooooood Stuff. Working on an emotional high today cause we got out and did some outdoor activities, saw some good friends, made some plans and ate good food, healthy good. Ate a tangerine, a chicken breast sandwich and some BBQ chips, ok, not totally good, but you get the point!

Loves ya today!

I hate two faced bitches...

So I have this friend who, just about 5 months ago, had a severe "problem" with another acquaintance. Servere enough to the point that this "friend" threated to drop out of a group we all belong to if the acquaintance wasn't removed from her standing. We all jumped on the band wagon because the "friend" had been offened by what the other said, felt uncomfortable in her standing and was generally wronged. For months this "friend" had insulted, trash talked and commented on the acquaintances parenting. We all listened and agreed, because, again, this was our "friend" and we felt the need for solidarity.

Now, not five months later, the "friend" is all happy go lucky with the other person. They chat with each other on facebook, make happy comments and even spend time together. They are like best buddies. Meanwhile, this "friend" refuses to call me back when I call, won't return email, and generally is being a total whore! She is very two faced and i can't even believe I thought we would turn out to be real good friends. I mean, what's her problem? She started "working" again in our area, and now she's all up in everyone's face about doing this and doing that in her "area" of expertise. Except me. SHe doesn't even involve me. Now I'm thinking, "what the fuck did I do now to piss her off?" Cause she just stopped talking to me for some reason. Though she does include me in group emails and or invites.

what pisses me off even more, is we have a group that we enjoy our birthdays together and hers is next. So not only is it my turn to drive to this "birthday thing" but now I've gotta spend close to like 150 bucks for the birthday! and i'm all like "well if this bitch isn't talking to me, why the hell should I go???" maybe i can come up with an excuse but I don't think so. and it upsets me cause i'm friends with all the other people in the group. grrrrr.

maybe this "friend" will move like she's been saying she might. her husband works in and industry that isn't too permanent in this area, so maybe, oh maybe, her bitch ass will move and i wont' have to deal with her anymore.

PS - I changed information in case she reads this. but if she does, she will know who she is. and if she does, what the fuck bitch???

People Suck

Yeah, that's a common heading for a blog, but today I feels it hard, y'all.

My neice was born a little over a month ago. I'm trying to set up a time when I can take myself, my husband and my two children on a six hour trip so that we may meet little Emma. I asked my brother's girlfriend (yes, they are unmarried) if she could bring the baby over when we came down. I didn't want to take the long ass trip and not be assured that I would actually SEE this elusive child who seems to appear a lot on facebook with her other grandmother and other aunts. GF hadn't gotten back to me and the time was approaching for the trip, so I enlisted the mother of all mothers, mine.

Mother tells me this morning that GF told her last night "baby has dr appointment on the 16th and i"ll ask the dr if it is ok for baby to 'see' other people." Am I all of a sudden OTHER people? I mean do I not share like some percentage of DNA with this child, as well as my children? Am I not the child's BLOOD relative? I am her Aunt for chrissakes! Not to mention that there have been "other people" all over this child from birth. Many pictures, again on facebook, have surfaced with people who are obviously not realted to my brother's Irish gf (read: ETHNIC) holding little Emma. And by the way, she was much younger in these pictures. Emma also does not visit my mother. GF's mother is always babysitting Emma while brother and GF go out to shop and other stupid shit. Must be nice, I wouldn't know, I'm actually a GOOD parent, unlike GF who is a worry wart but will up and leave said child to go shopping for clothes that the kid doesn't in fact need.

So I'm done. I'm done trying to be the good Aunt. I'm done trying to be something to someone who obviously doesn't want me involved. GF got what she wanted from my brother - a baby to ease her ticking biological clock, since she is 31 like I am. Now she doesn't need us anymore. So mazel tov and enjoy your baby. Good luck when she starts teething and when no one else can take care of her. Enjoy her. It just makes me sad that my brother decided to pollute our DNA family ancestry shit with her DNA. Not like we are royalty or anything like that, but our family is at least loyal to each other, unlike GF.

PS - I haven't even gotten a picture or a birth announcement for my ONLY neice. Birth announcements aren't necessary, I didn't send them, but at least send ME a picture, I am one of the kid's Aunts.

In honor of Columbus...

So, as I was making my applesauce yesterday, I realized I was running out of cinnamon. Spoke to my friend who had a giganto cinnamon container from Sam's and she graciously offered to give me some. She gave me a bunch and I transferred it to my shaker jar thingie. But, as I was transferring, I spilled about a half tablespoon (or less) on the counter. I thought to myself, "Self, in the early days of Columbus and the spice trade, that spilled cinnamon would have cost more than what a family made in a year. People have killed and or died for that spice and now we just flaunt our abundance by carelessly spilling it on the counter. How many Native Americans, India Indians and other Asian peeps have died just to make my applesauce taste a bit spicy. Shame on you for forgetting history. Be more respectful of those who have come before you!"

Yeah, it's gonna be that kind of day. My inner voice needs to calm the f*#@ down. It's just amazing how something that was considered a luxury many, many years ago is now an afterthought, an "oh, let's see how this changes the flavor." Amazing what technology does. So thanks Columbus, thanks West Indies Trading Company, thanks Imperial Brittain, your efforts (and by that I mean genocide, and greed) have made me able to spice up my stuff. Huzzah!

Christian Mind F*$#

So, today I get a call from one of the council members of my church. I think it is something nice, like a request to teach sunday school or some shit like that. But no. In fact, it is a call to say basically that my family has been put on notice. My son, loud as his is, seems to be causing a disturbance in church for the 90 year old members of the congregation. Our family is one of the only ones with young children. In fact, we are the ONLY family with young children; the other child is a four year old and he's a grandchild, not a child. So now I feel unwelcome in the house of god. This upsets me mightily because until recently, I hadn't been a church goer or even a believer. I came to the Lutheran church because it was inviting, accepting and welcoming. Well, after these un-Christian activities, I don't think I'm going to that church anymore. That is sad, because the church congregation desperately needs an infusion of young families. Most of the congregation members are older, like senior citizen older, or have children that are grown. So, basically, no new familes and the church will die. Oh well. Guess, the children's service that the pastor was going to have this weekend is going to be missing a few, if not the only, children. There are "children" in the congregation, but the youngest is probably 8 or 9, which really isn't a child in my eyes. Those kids can sit quietly and listen. My son is 2 1/2 years old, so it is difficult for him to sit still and be quiet. The only way he is going to learn how to do that is by attending church, which we can't do because they don't want us there. What would Jesus do? Apparently, he'd tell you to piss off.